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 Last night we celebrated the holidays with my extended family on my dad’s side. I loved how in 30 years, so much has changed yet, so much has stayed the same. The next generation of my family were so busy playing and dancing, learning to walk and trying so hard to crawl. I watched with pure joy as my own son played with his cousins and watched them, curious to who they were and what they were doing. It’s a whole new feeling to be a parent during the holidays, yet being with my cousins and my aunts and uncles and my mom, my brother and sister in law just felt like “home”. We ate food, we visited, we opened gifts and laughed then finished our evening with the same carolling books we have used for the last 10 years. Horribly off-tune and full of life..that’s the best way to describe my wonderful family last night. It brought joy to my heart to start the holiday season off with my loved ones.
 But, it was inevitable. I found myself looking around each room, fully aware of the absence. In February it will be two years but I still keep looking for him. At Christmas more than ever, I miss my dad. He was a big kid who loved Christmas as much as I do. And I miss him so..
This year has been difficult. Wishing he could know Hudson and that Hudson could know him. Wondering how they would play together and what they would do together, it breaks my heart. If my dad were alive, this Christmas would feel whole. But it never will.
I read a quote on pinterest that said, “Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn how to swim.”
And, even though it’s been two years, I am still learning how to swim…
This Christmas will be magical because of my saving grace..my son. But I hope to god I learn how to at least tread water as well…
The snow fell again last night. This morning we woke up to a pitch black world with no idea what was waiting for us when the sun would eventually come up. Around these parts, that means we now wait past 8:30 am before the dark lifts for the shorter days. Winter is definitely here.
While Hudson napped this morning, I cleaned the kitchen and started yet another load of laundry.. It seems dirty clothing is one thing I never run out of these days, how does that happen? And then I decided I would look for a few things in the basement which left me coming up empty handed and beyond frustrated. It seems like around here all there is is projects. So many projects started and still left unfinished. Rooms with boxes are countless, the “stuff” we have collected over the last 30 years spills from the corners and leaves me anxious and overwhelmed. I have wished out loud for a fairy to come and take all of our mess of our hands and put it away somewhere, out of sight. I can’t keep up. I can’t seem to get it organized. All I see online are beautiful homes and mothers who have a place for everything and I wonder how they do it. Why can’t I get it together over here? Maybe someday..maybe I’ll get my act together and whip this place into shape this winter…but until then..life will carry on and it waits for no-one…so we might as well stop and take it in while we can because some day, I won’t have all this extra laundry or these toys to pick up or the dirty face to wipe..and someday, I’ll maybe even miss this mess..
 
yay for… getting the tree up early
yay for… the season of magic
yay for… Hudson’s first Christmas
yay for… more snow in the forecast
yay for… mornings under the tree
yay for… cuddles and kisses and endless giggles this morning
yay for… letting go of my to do list and just allowing myself to enjoy this time in our lives…
welcome to another week in our little life in the country! This week, we spent a large portion of our time in the city visiting my mom and driving to the children’s hospital for Hudson’s check up. It was a big appointment that I was nervous for and, unfortunately, we received some heartbreaking news about our sweet little man. Its been a few days now and things have settled in and we feel a bit better about where we stand..just not exactly ready to discuss our situation yet so please just keep my sweet baby in your prayers! Otherwise..just normal life for us here on the farm..we started renovating our basement {which was in dire need of some TLC} and started its journey to becoming my future craft area/studio and I am oh so grateful for it! We also set up our Christmas tree yesterday because I just didn’t want to wait any longer! I was craving those quiet mornings by the tree before my boys woke up and this morning, it happened!
Speaking of quiet mornings…ever heard the expression, “quiet as a mouse”? Yeah…I am pretty quiet in the mornings…so quiet that I happened to be enjoying a quiet morning yesterday when a mouse decided to scurry across my kitchen floor!! I immediately jumped up, got Adam out of bed and we began the great mouse hunt of 2014. Thankfully we soon caught the little bugger…only to find another one under my kitchen sink!! And thankfully again, he fell for our trap over night and now we are hopefully once again a mouse free home. I don’t like mice more than anyone else does but hey, thats farm life for ya 😉
Anyways, here is a peek at our week here on the farm:
As i mentioned previously, we started our basement renovations this week. Now, I wouldn’t normally want to share the below photos to just anyone but..I am going to be so proud of this room when we are finished it and to completely appreciate it..you need to know what we started with. And yes, that carpet..I know…*shudder* I cannot wait to finish this area and post an “After” shot… Thank you again for stopping by on your Sunday, I truly appreciate all of you! And thank you in advance for your thoughts/prayers for our son..he is healthy and happy and we are just looking at this latest development as a speed bump, nothing more. And just a heads up that we will be away next weekend so my weekly wrap up will be held off til we return to the farm later in the week. Have a great Sunday everyone, keep warm!!
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dawn - CAN’T WAIT!!! Enjoy being back home and your tree and crafting again friend!!