First off, let me say WOO HOO!! We made it to September…the kickstart to my 4 favorite months. October and December are definitely the top two but Autumn is just…magical. Happy September everyone!!
Drinking: a LOT of water. I have always known how important water was for you but never really the biggest fan…until I became pregnant of course! Now I always keep a glass with me and drink them often. It tastes good to me, its good for me and most importantly, its good for the little one 😉
Eating: Well, I go in spurts! The last few months have seen a lot of fruit come my way. Now it seems we have moved on to salt..so my homemade pickles are getting a workout! I have currently eaten an entire jar myself..in about a week… *gulp*
Listening: to the wind whip thru the wheat field outside my front door. It has turned golden now and so beautiful. I am going to definitely miss seeing it when we harvest it in a couple of weeks time!
Wearing: truly…anything comfortable! I can still fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes so I take advantage! That being said, some outfits make me look as though I just raided the nearest doughnut shop so..have to be careful 😉
Reading: What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I swear, its become my bible. On more than one occasion I have actually exclaimed outloud “YES!” as if this book understands me and knows exactly what I’m going thru because, you know…it does!
Feeling: excited for Harvest 2013 to come to a close so we can work on finally switching houses and getting settled in to our very own home. Excited to start setting up the nursery for our little one and feeling a little anxious, but mostly excited, to meet our little one this Winter! I have never been in the hospital before so I will openly admit..I’m fearful. Lets just pray I can remember when its time that my body was made for this..it won’t break..and I can do it!
Weather: I am sooo over Summer. So over it! I cannot handle the heat this year and lately, its been a scorcher! So I stay inside during the day and my poor garden has definitely suffered the consequences. Its hot out, I’m hot just thinking about it. Please bring on Fall… ’nuff said
Wanting: a magical packing fairy to come in here and pack all of our belongings for me. Its overwhelming how much *stuff* I have…part of me wishes I could just chuck it all and start anew..but the other half of me loves every item I own so wouldn’t dare parting with it. Ahh, such a conundrum, lol
Needing: to figure out what all we need to buy before baby comes. I mean seriously, why is there like a million strollers and car seats to choose from? Which one is better? I have no idea..
Wishing: I could move ahead to February to see our new life with the little one in our home and see how life has changed! So curious, so excited!
Thinking: how lucky I am for this lifestyle and for all those around me. Feeling very rich in life indeed
Enjoying: our harvest this year. So far things are going very well and with the boys in the field, I have lots of quiet around the home making afternoon siestas quite delightful for the little one and I 😉
Loving: the changing of the seasons already. For a couple of weeks now I have noticed the leaves turning and while many say “noooo!” I say, “bring.it.on!”
BLUE!
Yup, we had our anatomy scan last Thursday and the evidence of our little boy was VERY clear…we have a son on the way!!
I have had a gut feeling for quite some time now that this little one in my tummy was a boy. I had been saying since we found out that we were expecting that I wanted it to be a girl but I have to admit, when they told me it was a boy and I watched him on that ultrasound screen….a girl couldn’t have been farther from my mind. I was just so overwhelmed with gratitude that he is a healthy baby. The technician went thru all his vital organs and showed me the chambers of his heart, his kidneys, etc and he was given a clean bill of health….and I thought to myself..”I did it!” Those first few months of pregnancy are vital to the development of your little one and I have to admit, its the biggest feeling of accomplishment I have ever felt!
 
They say that sometimes a baby will not cooperate with the ultrasound to reveal their gender. But, because this is my husbands son (hehehe) as you can see from the above photo..that was no problem. There he was, legs wide open to reveal to anyone who cared that he was, in fact, a boy.
Now of course I have my worries like, changing diapers and how to deal with those parts (I have nieces..thats all) but I trust in myself enough to know those things will arise and I will be able to figure it out, especially with my husband by my side!
As this is the first baby for us and for both of our families, its truly an exciting time. Everyone is overjoyed with a healthy baby on the way and the soon to be daddy and grandpa, of course, are overjoyed for a new little farm boy to have grow up here on our farm. Its a time of joy and gratitude and I cannot fully explain how overwhelmed I am with emotions and thankfulness.
His kicks have gotten stronger, somedays painfully so! But when I am lying down at night, before I fall asleep, I feel his kicks and I start to smile with this thought..
” I have a son…”
Last night hubby worked late in the field harvesting mustard and when he came in, I was already in bed reading. He started telling me about his day and his son started going crazy in my belly. I told Adam the baby obviously recognizes his voice already and I’ll tell you what, I’ve never seen that man so full of pride! He is going to be an amazing daddy to this boy, I knew it way before our son was even a thought but these past 5 months have confirmed every notion. Last Monday night was the first time he got to feel a kick from the outside and every morning and every night, he places a hand on my belly to feel them again. When he leaves in the early morning light for the field, he always kisses me good morning and now, for the last 5 months, he also kisses my belly and tells the baby how much he loves us both. Its a dream for this girl…an absolute dream!
So here we are…about to embark on Week 23 of our pregnancy. Things are getting real and they are definitely getting exciting! Cannot wait for Fall to come and cool this mommy to be off but also, these next 4 months are my favorite months of the year so I say, bring ’em on! Happy weekend everyone!
Today, I have officially entered my 20th week of pregnancy! I am halfway there to meeting my little bundle of joy and I cannot even start trying to explain to you the plethora of emotions I am feeling about it. Pregnancy is a lot different than I thought it would be. I admit, I was extremely naive before I became pregnant about the whole process. Extremely. I figured you get pregnant, your belly grows and you get a baby. And, while that is most certainly true. It’s way, way, WAY more than that! I wasn’t prepared for the constant worry that everything was okay in there or the joy at feeling a little kick at 3:30 in the morning. The worry that comes when you don’t feel a kick or when the dr takes 5 mins to find their heart beat. I wasn’t prepared for the anxiety and the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed by every little thing. What to buy, what I need, what to spend money on and what to accept as hand me downs, how to breast feed, when to give them a bottle, what car seat to choose, what paint color should I paint the nursery? … I have about a million of these thoughts going thru my head at any given point. It’s a lot to take in! That being said, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done in my life. The most meaningful and the most accomplished I’ll ever feel. I am growing a baby inside of me..and it blows me away that my body is truly capable of that. I mean..wow!
That being said, there is also some hormone “issues” going on that frustrate me and cause little break downs along the way. After my last prenatal appointment where I was told everything was good, I spent the weekend scratching myself like a crazy person, to the point where it was so distressing, all I could do was cry. I went back to the hospital for some bloodwork and was diagnosed with cholestasis..a very rare liver disorder that affects 1-2 in 1000 pregnancies that will disappear after I deliver. What it is, is my hormones have affected the amount of bile that flows freely to my bowels, trapping the toxins under my skin, causing me to be extremely (almost painfully) itchy. I am currently on meds to break down my bile and it’s been very helpful with my sanity. It seems like only every 3-4 days do I have a bad day and even then, I take a pregnancy safe antihistamine to keep me on track. Is it frustrating? You bet. But, as long as Baby C is safe..that’s all that matters!
What else have my hormones done to me? Well, they’ve made this a very emotional journey for me. Which, I have to admit..is a good thing. In preparation for becoming a mommy, I’ve become very reflective on my past and on my future. I’ve dealt more with my Daddio passing in these last 2 months then I did this whole Winter. I’ve reflected how heart wrenching it is for me to know my children will never know their grandpa Petrick. It tears me apart that my dad isn’t here with me, a shoulder to cry on when things get to be too much, or an advice giver on how to be a proper parent because honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing. I miss him so much and knowing he won’t be there at the hospital to encourage me and cheer me on then hold his first grandchild..it breaks my soul.
I wake up from dreams where I could swear were real and we were back in the hospital room, I think it’s my minds way of bringing issues to the surface to deal with them properly before I become a parent myself. But, like I said..I didn’t expect pregnancy to be like this..to be a chapter of reflection and personal growth (both physically and mentally). It’s overwhelming, it’s beautiful but most of all, it’s real!
In just 9 days, I have my gender scan to reveal to us if we have a little boy or little girl on the way. I’m anxious for the results as I have wanted a little girl for so long but, I have a feeling they’re going to tell me it’s a boy. So, once that chapter is opened, I’ll be sure to share with you! Thank you all for sticking with me and supporting me thru this crazy time in my life. Your blog visits and comments and emails bring me more comfort & joy then you will ever know. Happy Tuesday all!!!
The little one in my tummy isn’t the only thing I’ve been nurturing and growing this Spring, my garden is finally coming alive after a late seeding {mostly due to my being in my 1st trimester}. Every day I go out to walk the rows of my 3,000 sq ft garden and find something new and exciting growing before my very own eyes! This morning as the sun was just coming up, I took my camera out to photograph some of the new growth in all its morning dewy glory before the full sun came out. The following is a mix of those photos plus IPhone photos taken and shared via Instagram lately
My garden in all of its glory!
This year I am growing:
Pumpkins (Jacks & Minis), Popcorn, Slicing and Pickling Cucumbers, Sunflowers, Sweet Peas, Zinnias, Cosmos, 2 sowings of Peas, Wildflowers, Carrots, Dahlias, Garlic, Potatoes {about 200lbs worth}, Dill, Tomatoes {Sweet 100’s, Beefsteak and Yellow Boys}, Marigolds, Sweet Corn, Pole and Bush Beans, Onion, Beets, Lettuce {Romaine, Mix and Arugula}, Brussels Sprouts & Strawberries. And I’m sure I’m missing a few things as well 😉
My first dahlia is just starting to open today
Zinnias
My pumpkins are starting!
Slicing cukes
Peas & Carrots
My ginormous potatoes
Brussels Sprouts and Beets
yellow tomatoes
pole beans and onions
ahh, just looking at these photos makes me happy. I love getting my hands dirty while working amongst the flowers and bees happily buzzing from plant to plant. It nurtures the soul being out there..
I’m off to visit my mom in the city for a few days. We have a lot planned that includes making dill pickles, shopping and most importantly, Baby Bun has their 2nd Prenatal Appt tomorrow at the hospital and we can hear their heartbeat again…so excited! Have a great week everyone!
The number 3 and I have not seen eye to eye in quite some time. Call me superstitious, call me just plain ol paranoid..but I haven’t been a fan of “3” this year. I know that sounds silly but, believe me, I have my reasons!
You see, December 3rd was the day of my Daddio’s scheduled surgery. I was supposed to be there at the hospital that day but the weather turned horrible the day before and I couldn’t even get close to getting out of town, let alone drive the 2.5 hours to Calgary, where my parents were. So I sat at home, and waited.. hours before he was supposed to be done we received the call that changed our life. It was my aunty, who was with my mom, to tell us that they opened and closed Dad up and there was nothing they could do. They gave him 2 years to live. I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why this was happening. These things always happen to someone else and you hear about it and feel horrible for them, but then you go on, living your life. But not this time. No, this time..our number was up.
Fast forward to January 3rd. Dad had been moved to the hospital back home 3 days before Christmas and apologized that he wouldn’t be home for the holidays. His bowels hadn’t started up yet since after surgery but we still weren’t sure what was going on. We brought dad home on day passes thru the holidays and rang in the New Year together. Then January 3rd came and the doctor told dad to get us to the hospital for a meeting. I remember driving up with my mom, nervous. I was hopeful for some good news but deep down inside..I knew. Sure enough a team of doctors came in and explained that dads cancer was a rare form that didn’t respond to normal treatments so they were going to give him two rounds of a special chemo and if that didn’t work, they were pulling the plug. We cried..we hugged. I had to leave the room but I remember coming back and witnessing my dad snuggling with my mom and telling her how much he loved her and wasn’t ready to leave her. I couldn’t watch it anymore so I turned to look out the window. How was this fair? Two people so madly in love for so many years could be torn apart by something so stupid as cancer. I was angry, I was scared and I was naïve. That was January 3rd..
after our meeting with the drs, dad wanted to go home for the day. So home is where we took him
Then fast forward to February 3rd..the day my Daddio took his last breath and left us for the great beyond, to watch over us until it is time for us to be together again. That moment will forever be remembered as I moment of peace for my mom and I. We knew it was coming, his breathing was getting sparse, his hands, that were always so warm to me, had turned cold. We sat on either side of him and whispered, “its okay..you can go now, you can let go daddy” and then he did. And just like that, his pain was gone. His suffering was over. He deserved so much more out of life but he didn’t suffer anymore and that’s all we could ask for. We were humbled by this reality. And that was February 3rd..
You can see a pattern here of why a gal like me might not be so fond of little old number three now, can’t you?? But now here is where life becomes ironic and life also comes full circle..life is a mystery and a beautiful one at that..
It took me months to start feeling normal again. To laugh when I thought about my dad and to really feel like moving forward again. I still fear the future because the further along I get, the farther away my dad becomes. I’m scared to leave him in the past. What I mean by that is I’m still living in a time where my dad was alive this year, I had conversations with him in 2013. But fast forward a few years and I won’t be able to say that. My dad will become a memory..a story. And I hate that.
I didn’t know what the future held for me and I was scared. Then, on the morning of May 3rd, 3 months after my dad passed away, I took a test. A very big test. And it showed me that a new life was beginning. A descendent of my Daddio was coming to carry on the family..it was a true circle of life. The irony of the day I found out was not lost on me, was it a sign from my Daddio that good things were still in store? I believe so..
self portrait, taken after my positive pregnancy test results were revealed, on May 3rd
And now here we are..4 months into our journey of bringing a baby of our very own into the world. We’re becoming a family of..yup, you guessed it…3
Life is beautiful and it is painful..and it is very, very real.
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